by Teri Sheldon

The Three Bears, without a shadow of a doubt, were Scots! "And how did you arrive at THAT conclusion?" you may ask. Well, why else would a universally carnivorous beastie be eating PORRIDGE? Porridge has always been a mainstay of the Scots, and is the subject for our column this issue.

Most Scots foods are famous (infamous?) for their simplicity, and porridge is definitely one of them. Here is the ancient recipe for porridge, known to the Gaelic-speaking Highlanders as "brochan" - please remember, this will in no way resemble commercial, flavoured oatmeals!

For each serving, you will need: 1 cup water
2 rounded Tbs. oatmeal
salt to taste.

Put water in saucepan and bring to boil. As soon as it reaches boiling-point, add oatmeal. Let it fall in a steady rain from your left hand, while you stir it with the right, using a spurtle (porridge stick) or the handle of a wooden spoon. (If you are a superstitious Scot, remember to stir to the right - "deiseal" - and not "widdershins"!) When the porridge has come back to a boil, reduce heat (or remove to a different, warm burner) and let simmer for about 10 minutes before adding salt. It is important to not add the salt too early, as it has a tendency to harden the grain and prevent it from swelling. Simmer another 10 minutes or so. Ladle straight into cold porringers or bowls, and serve with individual bowls of cream, milk, or buttermilk. Each spoonful of hot porridge is dipped into the cold milk before being eaten, to cool it off (obviously, Goldie didn't know this!). Porridge was traditionally eaten with a horn spoon, rather than a metal one, which could become rather hot.The traditional "brochan" bowl was made of hardwood. The wood of choice was usually birch, because of its sweetness and because it was easy to keep clean. Porridge, like broth, is referred to in the plural. Ex: "Why do ye no sup yer parritch?"..."I dinna like them...." To me, speaking of porridge in the plural seems a bit like the royal "we"; perhaps it is the way that the Highlanders expressed their respect for this dish - a major mainstay of the people. This respect was also shown in the old custom of standing while eating porridge; standing may have also enabled the Highlanders to be ready for any emergency at a moment's notice. (If anyone has more information on these customs, please share it with me!) Highlanders sometimes formed private (unflattering) opinions of people based on how they took their porridge. The worst faux pas was for the hapless guest to use sugar. Another was to sit down at table,
rather than "standin' up to them". The most important rule of all, however, may be to remember that all of the above pertain to the Highlanders specifically - human Highlanders. Highland bears make their own rules....

REFERENCES:
Gow, Rosalie. "Modern Ways with Traditional Scottish Recipes". Pelican Pub. Co., Gretna, LA, 1980.

McNeill, F. Marian. "Recipes from Scotland". Albyn Press, Edinburgh, 1980.

Ibid. "The Scots Kitchen: Its Lore and Recipes". Granada Pub. Ltd., London, 1983.